Cited in Wikipedia (2008)
Girl: The only positive thing the prof said about my paper is that I had good references. I didn’t read them or anything, but I knew they were good.
- Burnside Elevator
(4.15 out of 5)
Loading ...Monday, April 7, 2008
(4.15 out of 5) Loading ...Sunday, March 30, 2008
I think they load, therefore they are.
Guy to girl: Yeah I’ve started research for that paper. I’ve pretty much gone to websites and seen that they exist.
- Otto Maass before a poli sci class
(3.67 out of 5) Loading ...Thursday, March 27, 2008
You’ll totally love Elementary Education.
Guy (on Cell Phone) “Dude, I know you totally just got out of jail, but it is going to be alright man school is great.”
- Outside Leacock
(3.68 out of 5) Loading ...Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Clean & Clear’s new edgier advertising campaign
(girl and guy walking down the street)
Girl: This is SO much better than what you did all over my face!
- Prince Arthur at Aylmer
(4.5 out of 5) Loading ...Monday, February 18, 2008
Though Upstate Manhattan is a Shithole.
Ditsy girl: Oh my God! New York State is, like, the coolest city in the world!
- McGill bookstore cafe
(3.42 out of 5) Loading ...Friday, February 15, 2008
The Metaphysics of Physics
Arts girl: You need to get a life
Physics girl: I can’t! I’m in physics!
- Burnside Basement
(3.45 out of 5) Loading ...Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Not a big deal? I’d like to see YOU contort that way. Ok, maybe not.
Prof: It’s really not that big a deal if you poop on your head.
—BIO 111
(2.69 out of 5) Loading ...Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Although the support is nice.
(two guys are discussing how Guy 1’s girlfriend bought him a gift)
Guy 1: Sure it’s a nice gift. I pretty much got her the exact same thing though.
Guy 2: Reciprocating gifts just doesn’t work. I mean, my mom wouldn’t go off and buy me a bra.
—McGill ghetto
(3.8 out of 5) Loading ...Sunday, October 28, 2007
You can read all about it in my new pop-sociology book, “Uglynomics”.
Guy 1: Well, girls seem to know whether they are pretty or not. They are very self-conscious about it.
Guy 2: Man, how do you know?
Guy 1: It’s like, when you go clubbing, you don’t see any ugly girls because they know that they are ugly. And they don’t associate with pretty ones.
—on Milton
(3.4 out of 5) Loading ...Thursday, October 18, 2007
The Redpath Scare
Polisci nerd: I’m not a fucking socialist!
- Redpath Library
(2.21 out of 5) Loading ...Monday, October 15, 2007
And he’s about to bathe in the toilet.
Sober guy: Where IS he?? Is he yacking?
Drunk 1st year: I’ll check the washroom
(kicks open door)
Sober guy: And….
Drunk 1st year: well… replace yacking with shitting, and toilet with bathtub
- New Rez
(4.32 out of 5) Loading ...Friday, October 12, 2007
But then to stop smoking weed, I’ll have to start doing coke…
Girl: I’m trying to stop drinking so much, so I’m going to need to start smoking more weed.
- Chez Cora’s
(3.58 out of 5) Loading ...Thursday, October 11, 2007
Ironically, they’re studying Socrates.
Guy 1: All right… but you can’t copy it. I’ll help you instead.
Girl 1 (batting eyelashes): We won’t copy it, we’re not stupid.
Girl 2: Well, we are stupid, we’re just not that stupid.
—Trottier
(3.97 out of 5) Loading ...Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Any friendship with you would have to have limits.
Nerd: Your friendship is like the limit of 1/x as x approaches 0.
- Macdonald Campus
(4.31 out of 5) Loading ...Monday, October 8, 2007
Seriously though, huge fuckin’ rooster.
Prissy girl: Oh my goddddd my back hurts sooooo much… my bag is sooooooooooo heavy…
Random Stoner guy: Oh ya? Well I’m carrying around a 10-pound cock, what the fuck do you got?
- Outside Arts
(4.73 out of 5) Loading ...Sunday, October 7, 2007
Overheard as slutty once, shame on the eavesdropper. Overheard as slutty twice…seriously, close your legs.
Girl 1: Oooh my God, I was reading Overheard, and something I said was on it! It made me sound like SUCH a slut.
Girl 2: Well… I mean, you are sometimes…
Girl 1: Yeah, but the INTERNET doesn’t need to know it!
- Leacock
(4.32 out of 5) Loading ...Saturday, October 6, 2007
John Kerry explaining his position on abortion.
Prof: It’s not a question of actual babies, it’s a question of HYPOTHETICAL babies.
- Stewart Bio
(3.39 out of 5) Loading ...Thursday, September 27, 2007
Like, the fact that you’re taking philosophy classes.
Prof: You probably don’t want an anvil dropped on your toe… unless you’re a masochist. Then you have other problems.
- PHIL 343 Biomedical Ethics
(2.24 out of 5) Loading ...Saturday, September 22, 2007
It was involuntary womanslaughter.
Guy on phone: There was no intention of rape…
(Pause)
Guy on phone: There was no intention of rape.
- Milton
(3 out of 5) Loading ...Thursday, September 20, 2007
I gotta find a new roommate.
Guy (to friend): I woke up this morning, and do you know what Frank was doing? Shitting on my books!
- In front of McConnell Engineering
(4.31 out of 5) Loading ...Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Instead of one day of Christmas, we have 5 CRAAAAZY nights.
Drunken froshie: Yo, man. What do you think is better? Christmas or Frosh?
- Milton Gates
(3.93 out of 5) Loading ...Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I keep telling him that he’s not a criminal, but a downtrodden member of the dismembered proleteriat living in desperation, but he keeps stealing my laptop.
“I’m having issues with our burlgar…”
- in front of Lola Rosa Cafe
(4.57 out of 5) Loading ...Monday, September 10, 2007
And, to top it all off, they have no sense of irony!
Guy 1: You know what I hate about the French? They’re rude, annoying, dirty, and standoff-ish…(exasperated sigh), oh and you know what I hate most? They’re so damn…judgemental!
- In front of James Administration Building
(3.68 out of 5) Loading ...Friday, September 7, 2007
Abortions are the new enemas
Girl on phone: So she had an abortion, right?
[PAUSE]
Girl on phone: yeah, but they actually feel surprisingly good!
—Rutheford Physics
(4.1 out of 5) Loading ...Monday, August 27, 2007
TBD
Girl 1: Just cuz he’s Facebooking from prison doesn’t mean he’s ready to commit.
Girl 2: But … he sent me the shoes already! Dammit.
- Gym
(3.68 out of 5) Loading ...Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Vacation
Hey everybody,
We’ll be back to posting on the 7th of September. In the meantime, please enjoy our past quotes. The Random Quote button is a great way to see old classics.
Enjoy your summers!
O@M
(2.29 out of 5) Loading ...Tuesday, July 17, 2007
After this year’s famine, Ethiopian chicks are coming back in a major way.
[Group of people discussing which nationality is the best looking]
Girl: Brazilians are bomb.
Guy: Eastern European chicks are always sooo hot because they can’t afford food.
- Gardner 7
(4.29 out of 5) Loading ...Saturday, July 14, 2007
If by morals, you mean breasts, then thanks.
(three girls sitting on bed in New Rez)
Girl 1 (to Girl 2) : You’re a fat whore.well…minus the fat part
Girl 2: Whatever. I’d rather be a whore than fat
Girl 3: I like your morals…
—New Rez room
(4.38 out of 5) Loading ...Thursday, July 12, 2007
Luckily, that will prevent him from living long enough to reproduce.
White guy number 1: Yea, so i got gonorrhea.
White guy number 2: What, you got gonorrhea?
White guy number 1: Yea, but it’s no big deal, everyone gets it.
White guy number 2: I’ve never gotten it.
White guy number 1: Actually neither have I, but all my friends have. They just took 3 pills and it was done.
White guy number 2: I can’t take pills, it’s against my religion.
White guy number 1: what religion is that?
White guy number 2: Rastafari!
- Biftek, St-Laurent
(4.19 out of 5) Loading ...Friday, July 6, 2007
That Management minor is more effort than I expected.
Guy 1: So did you do the extra credit part of the midterm?
Guy 2: Nah man, I was way too tired from jacking off all night.
- HIST 221