Girl 1: You are definitely sluttier than I am.
Girl 2: No way. You are!
Girl 1: You are sleeping with two guys.
Girl 2: You sleep with guys and don’t call them back…EVER.
Girl 1: Is that slutty?
- Cybertheque

Girl: Would you have sex with your mom for a million dollars?
Boy: I’d have sex with my mom just to get laid.
- New Rez Cafe

Student: Mcgill is the pimp, and we’re its overworked hoes.
- Trottier
(Editor’s Note: This is untrue. Due to recent events, we now understand that the T.A.s are, in fact, the overworked hoes.)

Female sexual predator: I have a cookie jar in my pants and the lid is always open!
- Solin Hall

Girl: Stop calling women objects or tools! Women are NOT tools!
Guy: Of course they aren’t tools. Tools are useful.
- McGill Arena

Prof: Has anyone ever been intimate with a cow?
— Biology 205, Adams Auditorium

Professor: 1984 - OK, on the negative side it’s a dictatorship, so you can’t have sex when you want but on the other hand, people make your decisions for you and you’ve got a job for life.
- EAST 211

Prof: There are typically three signs that indicate a child may be at risk for developing pyschotic tendencies. What are they?
Student: Pyromania, mutilating or killing animals, and early sexual tendencies.
Prof: That’s right. Now if you’re a parent and your kid is having sex with flaming animals, I would get that checked out.
- McConnell 13

Guy: Oh My God that girl has a HUGE ass, but I love it.
- Astrobiology seminar

Prof: Now, I don’t want to alarm you, but what I am really trying to say here is if you like sex… watch out.
- BIOC 212

Girl 1: Ron Paul? Isn’t he a porn star?
Girl 2: Nope, that’s Ron Jeremy.
- Outside of New Rez

Girl1: So now I’m wondering if I’m pregnant, or just getting fat…
Girl2: Oh my god, I hope you’re pregnant, at least then you can get an abortion!
- BMH

Girl 1: Don’t worry. She’s your friend. Of course she’s going to forgive you for sleeping with her boyfriend. It’s what friends do.
Girl 2: Yeah… thanks. You’re probably right. I wonder if he’s busy tonight.
- University St.

Girl 1: So why didn’t you sleep with him?
Girl 2: I only sleep with people if I’m facebook friends with them.
- Chez Jose

Prof: So today we’ll be discussing logical fallacies.
Girl: Excuse me Professor, but does fallacy have anything to do with fellatio or fellatious? I mean they’re similar, do they have the same origin or something?
[Prof and class stifle laughter]
- Research Essay and Rhetoric Class, Sherbrooke 688

Law student guy: (Reading out loud) ‘Due to the rising popularity of sex…’ Wait! When was sex ever unpopular?! Oh…’rising popularity of sex offender registries.’ I guess I had to keep reading the sentence.
- Law Library

(Guy gets up to leave class 10 minutes in.)
Prof: Ugh. I guess I can’t please everyone (pause). I can’t even please my wife sometimes.
- POLI 360

Horny punk girl: You know what I have always wanted to do?
Horny preppy girl: What?
(As Guy in Engineering Shirt passes)
Horny punkgirl: A McGill Engineering student!!! Don’t you just feel it is something thats needs to be done at least once in your life.
- Mcconnell Enginering building

“Just imagine that her face is on fire and you need to pee it out!”
—McLennon Library

Prof: Anyone with a penis the size of a Cathedral is exempt from this assignment.
(Pause)
Prof: Obviously, I won’t be doing it.

—EDEC 248

Male Party Promoter: It’s gonna be crazy!! Don’t you want to get laid?!?!
Male Skeptic: Not by you!
- Clubs and Activities Fair on MacTavish

[upon attempting to clarify the negative and derogatory connotations surrounding the F-word]
Prof: If someone on the street does something that offends you, you say “Fuck You!” I highly doubt, however, that you actually mean “I hope you have a happy sexual time this afternoon.”
- Intro to Feminist Theory

Girl: When I was younger, I thought penises were remnants of tails.
Friends: *shocked silence*
Girl: So, you know, I thought that girls must be more highly evolved than guys because girls don’t have those little tails.
- Sherbrooke

Girl 1: Oooh my God, I was reading Overheard, and something I said was on it! It made me sound like SUCH a slut.
Girl 2: Well… I mean, you are sometimes…
Girl 1: Yeah, but the INTERNET doesn’t need to know it!
- Leacock

Guy 1: I heard about this guy whose girlfriend got date raped while he was with her. He was so pissed.
Guy 2: But it’s like, such a compliment if your girlfriend gets date raped, ’cause then you know she’s hot.
- New Rez

Guy on phone: There was no intention of rape…
(Pause)
Guy on phone: There was no intention of rape.
- Milton

Girl: All these sexual drinks…blowjob…orgasm…slippery nipple…they should have a drink called the Yeast Infection…….and the chaser would be Canesten…
- Peel Pub

Rich blonde whore: Even when you’re so happy ’cause you just slept with someone, you still go and screw them over and fuck someone else.
Rich brunette whore: Yeah, some people are like that.
- Outside Leacock 132, before Natural Disasters

Female frosh leader: I love the word fuck!!!
(Grabs megaphone from a guy next to her.)
Female frosh leader: “FUCK!!!!!!”
- frosh, lower field