International student: I got in a car accident on my way to the airport.
Oblivious science student: OMG that’s crazy, I just don’t know how anyone manages to drive in Africa with no roads.
- Burnside Basement

Prof: So, minimal standards of living in Canada are very different to Togo.
Student: What the fuck is Togo?
- ECON 209

Ditsy girl: Oh my God! New York State is, like, the coolest city in the world!
- McGill bookstore cafe

Prof: If you show patients with right parietal cortex damage a map of Canada and ask them to point to Quebec, they will point to the middle of the Atlantic…which is where Quebec should really be.
- ANAT321 Circuitry of the Brain

(Studying for the midterm in Terrestrial Planets, the quintessential bird course; Girl 1 has just claimed she’ll ace the exam)
Guy: So you have Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars as the terrestrial planets.
Girl 1 (who just claimed she’ll ace the exam): Wait, Mars isn’t a planet, it’s a moon!
Guy: (Frozen with shock) Umm.. No, you’re wrong.
Girl 2: (with certainty to girl 1) No, Mercury is the moon.
Guy: (walks away in disgust)
- Walking into midterm.

Girl 1: Is Cuba part of North America?
Girl 2: Do they speak Spanish in Cuba?
Girl 1: Yes.
Girl 2: Then no. Cuba is not part of North America.
Guy: What about Mexico. They speak Spanish in Mexico.
Girl 2: Mexicans are illegal.

—BMH

Girl 1: No, dude, I never knew New Jersey was in New York!
Girl 2: Yeah… I didn’t even know New Jersey was a city!!!

—Stanley and St. Caths

(Talking about some documentary she’s seen in class.)
Ignorant Girl: Yeah, it’s set in Panovo.
Clearly Better Informed Friend: (confused) What? Where?
Ignorant Girl: In Panovo. (louder) PANOVO. (spells slowly) P-A-N-O-V-O.
Clearly Better Informed Friend: I really don’t know what you’re referring to.
Ignorant Girl: You must know about it, you just don’t remember. It’s one of the Spanish speaking countries.
—RVC Cafeteria

(Sorority girls discussing where they went on their spring breaks)
Smart Sorority Girl #1: “But, I thought Mexico was a part of the Dominican…”
(blank stares from the rest)
Smart Sorority Girl #2: “Me too…”

—St. Laurent

Girl: Is Prince Edward Island an island?

—New Rez study room

“It’s in the Caribbean! Get a geography book! (pause) Also known as an atlas. (pause) Maybe I need to get myself an English book.”

—Leacock elevator

Guy: “If my plane blew up on the way to Ireland, I would be really upset. If it blew up on the way back, I’d be OK.”

—stewart bio

Prof: So which country do you think has the highest suicide rate?
Guy: um, the Netherlands… like Norway and stuff

—abnormal psych

Guy 1: See this is why being colour blind sucks. I can’t tell the difference between the colours of the countries on this map!
Guy 2: Which countries?
Guy 1: These three… and these three…
Guy 2: They’re all the same colour. Dark green.