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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I’ll have the Carbon and Oxygen Trio. But can I replace the second Carbon with another Oxygen?

Girl 1: I think I have food poisoning.
Girl 2: Yeah, it’s going around. I had it the other day, so did my friend. It must be something in the air.
- Schulich 5

Posted at 9:34 pm | No Comments | EMail| Share    
Tags: library • food • science • Campus

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Monday, April 14, 2008

What does “more cushion for the pushin’” mean?

Ditsy girl: Yeah, there are so many terms I was unaware of, like I didn’t even know what love handles were until this year.
Ditsy girl’s friend: You mean until you got them?
- Douglas Cafeteria

Posted at 10:38 am | No Comments | EMail| Share    
Tags: Douglas • food

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Saturday, May 26, 2007

Bring a girl a steak and feed her for a day. Teach her how to give great head and feed her for life!

Drunk Girl: Well, I thought she could have gotten WAY more steaks for that blowjob but nooooo. She had to go up the hill to see some kids and fuck if I was giving her my last cigarette.

- Sherbrooke and St-Urbain

Posted at 8:42 am | No Comments | EMail| Share    
Tags: alcohol • sex • food

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Friday, May 18, 2007

Dear Mom and Dad: Please send more money

Girl talking to her friends
Girl: I ate cat food last night. I probably shouldn’t have said that.
- Prince Aurthur

Posted at 7:05 pm | No Comments | EMail| Share    
Tags: food

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Wednesday, May 9, 2007

And so the doughnut comes full circle.

Slightly overweight girl: Fuck the freshman 15. I mean, I’m supposed to make fun of fat people, not be one!

—

Posted at 6:08 pm | No Comments | EMail| Share    
Tags: food

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Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Because Canada starts with a K

(Two girls placing an order for food online)
Girl 1: What’s the postal code here?
Girl 2: um….I don’t know. I think it’s K3A something
Girl 1: Oh you mean H3A?
Girl 2: No, K ’cause we’re in Canada
Girl 1: …. for real?
Girl 2: yeah….is that not right?
Girl 1: oh my god.

—McConnell Residence

Posted at 3:57 pm | No Comments | EMail| Share    
Tags: McConnell • canada • submitters headline used • food

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Tuesday, May 1, 2007

You Don’t Even Want to Try the Terriyaki

Girl 1: Ew, this sushi is like jizz, here eat some so I’m not the only one.
Girl 2: No.
Girl 1: Come on, put it in your mouth. Just taste it. Just a little bit. I don’t want to be the only one.

—Odaki Sushi

Posted at 6:18 pm | 2 Comments | EMail| Share    
Tags: submitters headline used • scatalogical • food

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