Prof: You probably don’t want an anvil dropped on your toe… unless you’re a masochist. Then you have other problems.
- PHIL 343 Biomedical Ethics

Guy on phone: There was no intention of rape…
(Pause)
Guy on phone: There was no intention of rape.
- Milton

Dude on the phone: Yeah man, hell yeah, I brought back Guiness. […] You know the Land Before Time? Ireland’s like that.
- Milton and Aylmer

Guy (to friend): I woke up this morning, and do you know what Frank was doing? Shitting on my books!
- In front of McConnell Engineering

Girl: All these sexual drinks…blowjob…orgasm…slippery nipple…they should have a drink called the Yeast Infection…….and the chaser would be Canesten…
- Peel Pub

Rich blonde whore: Even when you’re so happy ’cause you just slept with someone, you still go and screw them over and fuck someone else.
Rich brunette whore: Yeah, some people are like that.
- Outside Leacock 132, before Natural Disasters

Accounting professor: Ok take out your calculators, cuz I’m not very good at calculating things
- MGCR211 Intro to Financial Accounting

Girl: Oh God, I thought that girl had a speech impediment, but she’s actually just speaking French…
- Milton Gates

Girl: Last night, Bush said that 5,000 soldiers would be sent home from Iraq by the end of the year.
Guy: Alive?
- arts lounge

Gentile girl: So wait how do you say ‘happy new year’ in Hebrew again?
Jewish girl: Shana Tova!
Gentile girl: Okay, Shana Tova then…. wait, I feel like we need some sort of ball-dropping or something.
Jewish girl: What, you mean like adolescent boys?!
- Lorne

Girl 1: I want to be your baby’s godmother!
Girl 2: I’m Jewish…We don’t have godparents!*
Girl 1: Then I’ll be its…Mosesmother!?
- Sherbrooke

(*Jewnote: Jews do in fact have godparents.)

Drunken froshie: Yo, man. What do you think is better? Christmas or Frosh?
- Milton Gates

“I’m having issues with our burlgar…”
- in front of Lola Rosa Cafe

Guy 1: You know what I hate about the French? They’re rude, annoying, dirty, and standoff-ish…(exasperated sigh), oh and you know what I hate most? They’re so damn…judgemental!
- In front of James Administration Building

Female frosh leader: I love the word fuck!!!
(Grabs megaphone from a guy next to her.)
Female frosh leader: “FUCK!!!!!!”
- frosh, lower field

Prof: “… if we eliminate testosterone, we can eliminate war. And I’m quite certain this quote will show up on Overheard at Mcgill in about five minutes considering how many computers they have here.”

—POLI 244

Girl on phone: So she had an abortion, right?
[PAUSE]
Girl on phone: yeah, but they actually feel surprisingly good!

—Rutheford Physics

Male #1: Okay, okay…Would you rather have sex with a dog or get head from your mom?
(pause)
Male #2: what kind of dog?