Brunette: I can’t go tomorrow night, I have to go see “JFK.”
Blonde: …But JFK’s dead! Why would you want to see him?
- Outside Werby’s on Parc

Girl 1: Yeah, Bill Clinton has this disease that makes him constantly erect. Like, he has to take medication to make it stop. Some other big, famous black guy has it actually, but I forget who it is. I think he was an NBA player…
Guy 1: Shaquille O’Neal? I can definitely see him having that.
[silence]
Girl 1: Oh no, I’ve got it! It was Malcolm X.
- Milton Gates

Guy: Hey you ever notice how American cornpops are different than Canadian ones?
New rez girl: YEAH! I know, eh! Think about it!
(Silence)
- New Rez

popular music girl 1: so, the paper can be on anything right?
popular music girl 2: yah, except you know, classical and jazz.
popular music girl 1: jazz? what about christina aguilera?
popular music girl 2: …she’s jazz?
popular music girl 1: yes, i heard her last album, it was ALL jazz. she’s jazz now.
popular music girl 2: oh.
popular music girl 1: you didn’t know?
- arts computer lab

Guy: “Listen…Bob Dylan…Musical genius, yea…but premature ejaculator.”

Guy 1: Yeah, but I mean the level of gay sex was just … I mean WOW. It was huge.
Girl 1: Well sure, but the midgets get caught everywhere.
- ARTS Cafe

Girl talking on cellphone
Girl: He had stubby fingers. Little stubby butcher’s fingers. You wouldn’t want to feel those caressing your body.
Long Pause
Girl: He was a good lay, though.
- Outside McConnell

Girl 1: It’s so awkward when you hear somebody have sex. The other day my roommate came up to me and said she could often hear me having sex unless her music is blasting. That night she walked in on me and told me she wanted to turn her music off so she can go to sleep. She actually asked me not to moan too loud!
Girl 2: Yeah the other time I told my mom: “Yeah mom, like, I could hear you have sex last night… Our house is pretty small you know”
- Press Cafe

(A discussion about penis size)
Girl 1: You need at least 5 inches.
Girl 2: I need at least, like . . more!”
- Thompson House

Guy: Oh my god, look at the Asian twins!
Girl (in a super accusatory voice): They’re not twins, they’re just both Asian!
- Rue Clark

Girl: I’ve been getting “A”s in my Psych class, which is really good, ’cause I don’t really get “A”s. I’m hardcore dumb.
- English 203

2 girls posing with the James McGill statue.
Girl 1: People are going to think we’re tourists. I do go to this school, you know.
Girl 2: But I’m from Concordia.
Girl 1: So… that doesn’t make you a tourist.
Girl 2: Well, we do live on the South Shore.
- McGill Lower campus

Prof: ..for example, some damselfish populations have only one male. And if the male gets killed, one of the females will transform into a male within hours.
Student: How do you figure out gender on the reef?
Prof: We can tell because all of a sudden they stop asking for directions.
- Stewart

(First off, thanks to all those who’ve stayed with us through the summer. We’ve managed to retain over 60% of our readers for this term. We’re assuming the rest are being held as enemy combatants)

Ever overheard something that O@M-able, but didn’t have access to a computer (or were too lazy to track one down) to submit the gem immediately upon hearing it?

Our newest feature, Submit-By-Phone (courtesy of babyTel.ca), allows you to make an overheard submission just by calling a phone number and leaving a message.

So, all you roaming eavesdroppers, grab your cellphones and store this incredibly easy to remember number:

514-907-3470
(or, 90-PEGS-0. Catchy, we know.)

(We’ve concocted an elaborate mnemonic that inolves 90 peg-legged pirates getting depegged. Ask us about it another
time.)

(Its a incredibly cold outside, 2 guys in winter jackets are in line for a bar. A bit down the street are around 4 gay guys in incredibly tight pink short sleeve t-shirts in a different line.)
Guy 1: Man look!
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: I’m freezing and I’m in wearing a damn winter coat. What the fuck is wrong with those guys?
Guy 2: Obviously its cause their gay.
Guy 1: Ohhh…
- St. Laurent

Professor: Now, if only I were teaching at HARVARD…
Class: OOHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Professor: No-n-No! I meant it for the MONEY!
- Leacock 132

Prof: …This gentleman, Louis Pasteur, was the person who gained fame for sending cows out into the pasteur to be pasteurized.
Class: (still listening in silence)
Prof: That was a joke…
- Chem 120, Am class

Girl enters class late and slips on wet stairs near the front of class. Class giggles.
Prof: Are you ok?
Girl: Yea, it’s slippery
Prof: No shit
- POLI345

Girl 1: I know for a fact this year is going to be way better than last year.
Girl 2: Why’s that?
Girl 1: Because this year, I actually have designer clothes. Last year I didn’t have any and I was so unhappy!
- Lorne Cres.

3 guys wearing mcgill sweatshirts, presumably roommates, are waiting in line at the registers and are impatiently wondering where the 4th guy is…
Guy 1: where is he?
Guy 2: i know, how long does it take to get cans of the soda he wanted?
(guy 4 returns, empty handed and dejected)
Guy 3: what happened? you couldn’t find them?
guy 4 shakes his head no…
Guy 3: alright, i’ll go help you
(a good 10 minutes pass…they were now at the register and the clerk is ringing up their order and still no sign of guy 3 or guy 4)
Guy 2 to guy 1: wow, remind me never to go shopping here again with both of them
Guy 1: yeah, i know
- Metro on Parc during first week of finals

A group of asian guys walking down the street, an African-American male walking behind them
Asian Guy: Its like a movie. Every time I look back, the black guy gets closer.
- Durocher

A group of high school or junior high kids walk through campus. One, 14 or 15, breaks the silence.
Kid: When I get older, I’m going to blow this place up.
- in front of Macdonald Engineering

Teacher: How do you feel about working with the different definitions for the Oxford English Dictionary? Not at all comfortable? Somewhat comfortable? Very, very comfortable?
Student: *raises hand* I don’t care *students laugh* I mean I don’t mind! My bad, sorry!
- ENGL 215 Intro to Shakespeare

Girl: (on cellphone) My life totally sucks right now. I went to an intellectual conference and people were saying smart things and I was asking myself ‘Why can’t I say things like that?’ And I’ve forgotten all essay-writing skills I learned in high school. Ugh, I am like totally ESL right now. Like, what am I doing with my life? I’m not getting into law school, I’m not going to get a position at the UN…. UGH!! I might as well get married to a rich Arabian prince!

-Elevator, apt. on du Parc

(Bus drives by with ad for upcoming Pussycat Dolls concert)
Guy: Hey look, the Pussycat Dolls are coming to Montreal!
Girl: Cool.
Guy: Wanna go?
Girl: Yeah we can sit in the front row and masturbate!
- Sherbrooke and Parc

Prof: Is anyone in here Swedish?
Random kid: No, but I’m Finnish
T.A.: Well, it’s the last day of classes, we’re ALL Finnish!

Girl 1: He has this really different accent because he’s from Niagara.
Girl 2: WHAT! He’s on Viagra?!?!
Guy: Possible Side Effects: you get a strong Canadian accent
- Geo Lounge

(A fat Asian guy with red dyed hair walks by)
Really White Guy: Dude! That guys looks just like Hiro, you know from Heroes!
Friend: Are you an idiot that guy looked nothing like him. Man can’t you tell Asian guys apart.
White Guy: Of Course I can! Clearly you’re not a fan of the show.
- Outside Otto Maass near the garden.