Two girls are meeting on the corner of Milton and Lorne.

Girl #1: What took so long?
Girl #2: We were so close to getting the squirrel, you have no idea…

—Milton and Lorne

Girl #1 (to sunburned girl): Wow, you’re radiating!
Sunburned girl: Yeaa, that’s the sunburn. Oh, and the fact that I get really horny during exams, and all I can think about is boning…(laughing)…. c’mon. You know you all do it.
Girl #1: Yea, I go to synagogue for that.

—McConnell

A bunch of American high-school students trying really hard to seem Quebec-legal having lunch
Student 1: Oh my God! You got a salad! That’s health food!
Student 2: It’s okay. We still love you.
Student 3: Oh my God! Salad!?! That’s so gay!

—Cafe Veranda

Asian Guy: God damn, that shooter down in the US is gonna give Asians a bad name. Quiet Asian guys will only be able to stay silent for 5 minutes before people get suspicious.
Mexican Guy: Join the club, down in the US, people only think of us as cheap landscapers.
Asian Guy: I don’t think we have a lot of Mexicans here.
Mexican Guy: That must be why your lawns look so shitty.
—Just Noodles on St.Laurent.

Guy: “Under this scared white boy facade, I’m really a strong black woman!”
—Douglas

Guy on megaphone (as McGill security guards show up): Okay everyone, McGill security is here, so, ummm, just hide your weed (groans from students) it’s okay guys, we’ll smoke it when they leave!

—Lower Field, on 420

Guy: Ive chewed on it, put it in my mouth, sucked it, and scratched myself with it. Do you still wanna play with it?

—Douglas

Guy 1: Hey, do you guys know why there are three Starbursts on top of the toilet?
Guy 2: Oh, those are mine!

—Douglas

Jewish girl: “This guy starting calling me a ‘JAP’ but I’m not even Asian!”

—Train from Montreal to Toronto

Guy #1: “There are no rats. No rats!”
Guy #2: (Unenthused) “Yeah, yeah…”
Guy #1: “No, Toronto is literally RAT-FREE!”
Guy #2: Tax-free?
Guy #1: “No, rat free man, there’s like a rat boarder patrol!”

—In front of Arts

Little Boy: All those teenagers are having so much fun! They must really love celebrating Earth Day!
His Dad: Oh, that’s not what they are celebrating…

—On the Lower Field during 4:20

Girl 1: I know this skinny girl with double Ds.
Boy 1: Yeah… it’s all the fucking cow steroids in the milk.
Girl 1: I am going to go drink a gallon tonight.

—Lower Field

Girl 1: Is Cuba part of North America?
Girl 2: Do they speak Spanish in Cuba?
Girl 1: Yes.
Girl 2: Then no. Cuba is not part of North America.
Guy: What about Mexico. They speak Spanish in Mexico.
Girl 2: Mexicans are illegal.

—BMH

Girl #1: “Wait! So she had the baby via circumcision???”
Girl #2: “…Do you mean c-section?”

—McConnell

Puck Bunny in Denial: Just because the last 3 guys I’ve had sex with were hockey players doesn’t make me a puck bunny!

—Champs on St Laurent

Guy: “Eggs are just chicken menstruation”
Tired Guy: “Best menstruation I’ve ever had!”

—Douglas

Drunk Girl 1 (loudly): Whoa, I feel so… promiscuous.
Drunk Girl 2: Um, I don’t think that means what you think it means.

—Metro grocery store, on St. Patty’s day

Guy (yelling): Why the FUCK don’t they have the Da Vinci Code here?!

—Redpath Reserves (the day before exams start)

Guy 1: “Dude the prof is such a bitch!”
Guy 2: “Yeah. It must’ve been that time of the month for her.”
Random Girl: “That is like so incredibly sexist!! UGH!” *storms off*
Guy 2: “What the hell was that all about?”
Guy 1: “Must be that time of month for her too.”
Guy 2: “For real.”

—Otto Maass

British Girl: Meese, is that actually the plural of Moose?
Guy (sarcastically): Yes
British Girl: I always thought Meese was the plural of Mice! See, these are the sort of things that you don’t learn in Britain!

—Geo Lounge

American Girl 1: “OMG I just had the BEST idea!”
American Girl 2 stares blankly.
American Girl 1: “You know how like we can’t like get jobs but we still like want money…”
American Girl 2: “Yeah.”
American Girl 1 (so excited she’s about to burst): “We should sell our EGGS!!!”

—American Lit. 226 (Fall 2005 hence the job comment)

Girl: So, 14+7…. 23.
Guy: Umm, it’s 21. Aren’t you a math major?
Girl: (Angrily) Arithmetic isn’t math!

—Burnside Basement

At last night’s SSMU Awards, OverheardAtMcGill.com was chosen as this year’s Website of the Year. We’re extremely proud of the recognition.

More than any other medium, our success is contingent on your engagement, and the sheer volume of participatory eavesdropping that this site has chronicled and encouraged in merely the last eight months is astounding. With over 100,000 visitors, we’ve been blessed with great success, and look forward to expanding next year.

P.S. It appears that the award shown above was stolen during post-Award celebrations at Biftek. So, if you happen to overhear someone talking about having stolen the Overheard at McGill Website of the Year award, be sure to submit it to the site, preferably with some contact information.

Girl 1: I mean, I’m trying to convince my parents that I don’t have a coke problem and I lost a grand!
[seconds pass]
Girl 1: Wow, that’s going on Overheard for sure…

—Redpath

Guy: “Okay, but what’s the biggest problem?”
Girl:”It’s so annoying! Every time I go into her room, she’s masturbating!”

—Redpath

Obnoxious girl 1: If I got a quarter for every time I see someone hump a monument, I would be rich.
Obnoxious girl 2: Totally.
Obnoxious girl 1: I mean, James McGill gets pissed on, like, every day.

—outside Leacock

(In class at 9:30 in the morning, girls looking at their laptops)
Girl 1: Oh my god!
Girl 2: What?
Girl 1: This is horrible!
Girl 2: What is it?
Girl 1: I can’t believe they’ve done this just before exams! They’ve changed facebook!

—Poli 243

Girl: Why are there so many people in the library today? I mean finals haven’t even started yet. It’s not like anyone has anything due tomorrow.

—Redpath basement

Boyfriend: So, what should we do for dinner? Japanese food?
Toronto/lululemon girl: No, I don’t feel like japanese.
Boyfriend: Hmmm. How about sushi?
Toronto/lulu girl: Yeah! I love sushi! Let’s get that!

—24 bus

Two friends run into each other while washing their hands.
Guy 1: Hey man, what’s up?
Guy 2: Not a whole lot. Although I did just write a killer Sean Turner joke on the bathroom wall.
Guy 1: Who’s Sean Turner?
Seconds pass.
Guy 2: … Are you serious?

—Burnside basement bathroom