Guy: What’s 14+9?
Girl: 21. (looks satisfied with her quick and “correct” answer)
Guy: Damn, you’re fast.
Girl: Haha, you thought you almost had me there.
—New Rez elevator
(4.35 out of 5)
Loading ...Girl: (to two friends) I was wondering today if water has calories and so I checked the label. It doesn’t.
—New Rez
(4.6 out of 5) Loading ...Prof: “Oh, today is Johnny Cash’s birthday. In case you need a reason to drink.”
—COMP 280
(4.44 out of 5) Loading ...Guy 1: I never get what’s up with all the people wearing Che Guevara shirts?
Guy 2: What did he do anyway?
Guy 1: I don’t know, something in Cuba.
—St Catherine
(3.79 out of 5) Loading ...Guy: You guys have mounted police? They go around on horses? That is sooo “Age of Empires”!
—BMH
(4.44 out of 5) Loading ...Girl: I don’t like to be licked out of context.
—New Rez Common Room
(4.54 out of 5) Loading ...(Girl asks question)
Prof: Well the short answer would be yes, and by yes I mean no.
—Linguistics - Syntax I
(3.86 out of 5) Loading ...
Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun are no longer in a relationship.
Blonde Girl: What if the Nazi’s got facebook?
—AUS Lounge
(4.56 out of 5) Loading ...Teacher: Proving the equation is easy, but how do you derive it?
Student: You google it and then confirm the answer?
—Math 249
(3.9 out of 5) Loading ...Guy 1: Oh, sorry man. I forgot to tell you about it… if you were on facebook, I would have invited you.
Guy 2: (looks pissed off) …I live two doors down from you…
—Molson
(4.64 out of 5) Loading ...Girl 1: Oh, I loved it so much, it looked like an Igloo Person!
Girl 2: …an Eskimo?
—Douglas
(3.22 out of 5) Loading ... (4.04 out of 5) Loading ...Guy: Yeah, you know, when I don’t blaze my OCD really comes out…
—-Prince Arthur
(4.32 out of 5) Loading ...Younger Student: Do you have Facebook? (opens her Facebook profile) See, this is mine…
Continuing Ed/Older Student: HAHA! What’s that? You’re looking to get a date?!
—Stewart Bio
(4.38 out of 5) Loading ...Guy: I had a sex dream about you. I mean, about your brother.
Girl: EWWWWW.
—Leacock
(3.86 out of 5) Loading ...Guy in line: C’mon! Milk me like you know you want to!
—BMH
(3.42 out of 5) Loading ...(casually during a wine and cheese dinner…)
Girl 1: Can someone help me open this thing!
Girl 2: Oh My God No! dont do it like that, you have to hold it between your legs hard and screw it!
Girl 1: Wow it works really well!
—Solin Hall
(4.2 out of 5) Loading ...Girl: Is Prince Edward Island an island?
—New Rez study room
(3.59 out of 5) Loading ...Professor: Does anyone want to know how foreign explosive penetrators work?
(Prof goes to board and reads advertisement for V-Day McGill)
Professor: “Vaginas for life bitches?” This is perfect for talking about explosive penetrators.
—Leacock 132
(3.85 out of 5) Loading ...Guy: A thousand Jews on a thousand type-writers couldn’t write the the stuff that’s on Overheardatmcgill!
—Burnside elevator
(3.35 out of 5) Loading ...—Elevator in the Education Building
(3.8 out of 5) Loading ...Guy 1: Hey man, how was your birthday?
Guy 2: It was good.
Guy 1: Did you throw up?
Guy 2: Uh…yea the morning after.
Guy 1: (pumping his fist) Yes!!!!!—Durocher
(3.05 out of 5) Loading ...Student (in Chinese): I drink beer faster than my “mei mei.”
Teacher: What were you trying to say?
Student: I drink beer faster than my grandmother.
Teacher: “Mei mei” is younger sister.
Student: Oh. That works too.
—Arts Building
(3.68 out of 5) Loading ...Guy (walking alone, repeating to self out loud): “I will build a spaceship. Together we will rule the galactic empire!”
—Hutchison
(4.5 out of 5) Loading ...Pretty blonde (to brunette friend): The problem with blonde jokes, is that sometimes I don’t get them.
—Durocher
(4.61 out of 5) Loading ...Girl 1: I don’t know if I’d wake up… I don’t know…
Girl 2: Um, I think you’d wake up if your bed was on fire!
Girl 1: I don’t know…
—Abnormal Psych conference
(3.58 out of 5) Loading ...Girl: I used to dress really “New York”, but I stopped because I started waking up hung-over all the time: less time to pick out outfits.
—Douglas Hall Pre-drink
(3.45 out of 5) Loading ...TA: Guys, I leave the labs and I find that each time, its just not clean enough. I don’t mean to be a nag here, but I’m a bit of clean freak so you have to try..
(Class gives a mumbled yes/ya)
TA: You see as I said I myself am a clean freak. In fact, one time I was in some mall and the washroom was disgusting. So I ended up cleaning and scrubbing the whole thing down.
(Class is awkwardly silent)
—Bio 112 Lab, Stewart Bio
(4.28 out of 5) Loading ...Hey everybody,
This coming week is reading week. Because we will be on vacation and largely unable to reach a computer, we’ve set up this coming week such that it will automatically post two quotes noon every day. We’ll be back to regular functioning on Monday, February 26. Until then, enjoy your reading/vacationing/procrastination. And keep on submitting, as we’ll be going full thrust when we return.