[on Halloween, a man dressed in Pirate garb, walking with crutches and with only one leg.]

Girl: [excited] Oh my god, that’s the best costume! How did he hide his leg so well! That’s so realistic!
[Pirate looks confused/offended; girl walks past, notices that he ACTUALLY doesnt have a leg]
Girl: [below her breath] Oh my god…I’m so insensitive!

–St. Catherine’s & Peel

[Two guys standing by the stove, one with a pizza box]
Guy 1: “You might want to take that out of the box.”
Guy 2: “Why?”
Guy 1: “Um…it’ll catch on fire.”
Guy 2: “Really??”
Guy 1: “Yeah, it’s actually pretty cool to watch…but then your pizza gets ruined.”

–Rez Kitchen

Girl 1: And I had just had like a crazy six hour sex marathon with my boyfriend.
Girl 2: *laughs*
Girl 1: Yeah, I was so sore. It made playing volleyball very difficult.

–Arts Building

[Spanish prof, trying to create a discussion on how to give suggestions in Spanish.]

Prof: So, why wouldn’t you accept a drink from a stranger at a party?
Girl: Porque es muy sketchy!

–Intermediate Spanish

Girl: “Black is thinning…”
Guy: “Not on fat people.”

Prof: Well, once you take away the rules, then there are no rules.”
-POLI 244

[Spectulating as to why the brains of European men and women are longer and skinnier than those of Japanese men and women]

Asinine girl: Maybe that’s because the Japanese force their babies to sleep on their backs, so their brains get fatter. Europeans must force their babies to sleep on their sides.

::friends of Asinine Girl sheepishly look away::

—LING 390

Girl #1: Are you okay, hon?
Female voice from inside bathroom stall: I don’t know. Is it normal if it’s purple?
–Bathroom at 4Floors

girl: “you can get ProductRed Converse?”
guy: “yeah, they made the Africans make them.”

ditsy girl #1: Wow, we had so much fun! We should see each other every day!
[awkward pause]
not so ditsy girl #2: …Yeah.

–Pine & University