Guy 1: [after looking around] You know, this place really needs livening up.
Guy 2: Yeah. We could get jugglers? Or a unicycle.
Guy 1: On fire!

—Arts Lounge

[older man walks up to younger women]
Older Man: I like orgies on boats.

–A Bar on Crescent

Girl1: They say everytime you masturbate, God kills a kitten…
Girl2: Then I have killed many cats
Guy- me too
Girl2 – It’s a good thing that they have nine lives, otherwise they’d be extinct!

“Everybody down! I’m hijacking the elevator!!”

…[awkward minute of silence]…

–McConnell Engineering Elevator

[--At Metro du Parc Supermarket--]
[Guy1 steals a box from his friend's shopping cart]
Guy2: Go ahead! You can pay for my honey bunches of oats if you want to!
[Guy1 peers back into cart to see if there's anything better to steal]
G1: Crispers? What are Crispers?!
G3: Leave him alone, he plays tennis, he needs to stay healthy
G2: ha! Crispers aren’t healthy!
G1: So what are they? Are they a chip or a cracker?
G2: A cracker….well, um…. it’s like….
G1: Dude, I’ve seen the commercial
G2: it’s like the consistancy of a cracker, but it’s….but it feels like a chip
G3: so it’s like they took a cracker and….made it into a chip? Like a cra…
G1: Man, you better stop talking right now!
G3: Like a Crap!
G2: haha….like a crap
[conversation seems to continue as they continue to wait in line and then...]
G3: hehe…..a crap….

[two twelve year old boys walking down the hallway of the Currie gym]
Boy1: sometimes I… *sigh* I just don’t understand myself…
Boy2: well *I* don’t understand math
Boy1: sometimes….my head just goes to the birds.

“It’s better for New Zealand to grow sheep. And Hobbits. Egypt can’t grow Hobbits. I mean, if you did Lord Of The Rings in Egypt, it would be like ‘Where does this dessert end, Aragorn?’”
– Rex Brynen, POLI 244

Girl (with her hand up):”Like, are killer bees a social problem?”
—Sociology 201

Guy: He has fake boobies…(awkward silence)…I touch his boobies all the time…
–McGill Ghetto