Tuesday, April 27, 2010

‘Cause love is that warm, wet feeling you get on the outside

Girl: If you loved someone, you’d pee on them, right?

- Bronfman

Thursday, April 8, 2010

I told you not to leave The Bubble!

Girl 1: So how are you liking Montreal?
Girl 2: I really like it, but there’s so many people who speak french, you know?

- Leacock 132

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Mine is crossing the street…

Girl: That’s what my skill is when I’m drunk – flushing toilets

- Burnside

Friday, March 19, 2010

A Simple ‘I’m Fine’ Would Have Sufficed

Prof: I havn’t felt particularly horny lately, actually.

-Arts Legacy

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

This is what happens when you agree to be set up on a blind threesome.

Girl: [to two guys] I actually thought you two would be Asian, you know, because I heard you were really smart…

-Leacock

Monday, March 15, 2010

I Eat Three Times A Day. Four If I’m Lonely.

Girl: Food, when you’re high, is like porn. It’s just sooo good.

-New Rez Caf

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Ten double doubles to go please

Girl 1: Chances of winning the Tim Hortons free coffee are 1 out of 10
Girl 2: No, my sister said even if you buy 10 you might not win

- SSMU Lounge

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I wouldn’t trust this muggle with my broomstick…

Guy #1: Really? McGill has a Quidditch team?!
Guy #2: Yeah, there are tournaments and shit
Guy #1:  But…they don’t actually fly…do they?

Monday, March 1, 2010

While your wallet is replaceable, your v-card is not.

Girl 1: Hey, your bag is open.
Girl 2: It’s always open, just like my legs.

- Leacock

Friday, February 26, 2010

She’s friends with Nora Pinephrine

*Drunk girl cracks open a beer*

Sober girl: I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Drunk girl: I’m fine! Ask me anything!
Sober girl: Ok. What does Serotonin do?
Drunk girl: Sero-tonin?
Sober girl: See, you’re drunk!
Drunk girl: But…Sarah Tonin! I don’t know who she is!

-New Rez

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